1/13/12
Are You Smarter Than The Intern? ... Chances Are YES. Yes, You Are.
It's Harlem Globetrotter ticket giveaway week! And of course, Ben and Kelly had to find some way to make their intern look super "smart." I'm using the word "smart" loosely. Very loosely. I'm just going to throw this out there... I did NOT learn what fruit brings luck on the Chinese New Year when I was in Fifth Grade. Just for your own personal knowledge, it's an orange. I also did not learn which insect has three groups or sets of legs. Again, for personal knowledge, it's a mosquito. The other two questions I missed... Embarrassing. I knew one of the answers, the caller just got to it first. And the other... I chose an answer that wasn't even an option. On accident. I fail at life and I'm obviously NOT smarter than a Fifth Grader. Congrats to the winner though! You outsmarted me and won Globetrotter tickets! Smarty pants.
I'm looking forward to next week... Chiddy Bang will be in studio! If you have never have never heard his music go to iTunes NOW and download "Opposite of Adults." It's one of my all time favorite songs and it's totally worth the $1.29. Or if you're a broke college student like yours truly, go to YouTube!
I hope everyone has a warm and fun long weekend!
-Intern HOT MESS !! :)12/21/11
Sometimes Your Words Just Hypnotize Me...
Hypnotist/ Comedia Rich Guzzi was in the studio yesterday. And... I let him hypnotize me! Coolest experience ever! I've never been hypnotized before but I've always wanted to experience hypnosis. Naturally, when they put the offer on the table I jumped at it.
He had to "knock me out." Basically, that means make me relax to the point that I was essentially asleep but still awake. You know when you get REALLY drunk? And everything is like a haze? Yeah. That's pretty much like being in a state of hypnosis. Well... Minus the dizzy spells and porcelin facials. It's so relaxing. Rich said 20 minutes of hypnosis is equivalent to TWO extra hours of sleep. He was not kidding.
After I was "out" Ben and Kelly put me on air. Lovely. First, he wanted me to laugh at everything. I tried. I don't laugh hard naturally so it was hard to laugh hard when I was under hypnosis. But I did snort and hit my head on the mic. So that's cool. Then he had me pretend like I was drinking my favorite alcholoic beverage- Vodka Cranberry. More vodka than cranberry. With a lime. In case you're curious. After I was good and "drunk" he had me say my name. I could not say it coherently. It's hysterical. I also apologized to my mom for being "drunk". Unfortunately, those apologies mean nothing to her. They come a few times a weekend. Sorry for partying, Mom. After I was "drunk" I was Ben and Kelly's boss. I was an angry boss because Ben and Kelly were not conducting the show to my standards. It's a good thing I'm never going to be a boss. I hate confrontation. And I was really mean... Sorry Ben & Kelly. I'm blaming it on the "alcohol."
After everyone had a few laughs, he woke me up. I felt so refreshed and relaxed. It was such a weird but cool feeling! Almost dreamlike. I recommend anyone who has not been hypnotized to try it! I also recommend everyone go to at least one Rich Guzzi show in their life. Just make sure it isn't one of his extreme shows... Unless you're okay with sexual humor and food being used together. It's not THAT bad. But it made me uncomfortable. But his other shows are awesome!
Anyways, I'm out of here!
Have a GREAT weekend!
-Intern HOT MESS :)
12/13/11
Saturday night I had TWO happy hours at two different bars. FREE drinks for ME!! I really don't remember much of Saturday night other than one of the bartenders literally feeding me shots. My last coherent memory, sitting on the bar. Just chilling. I'm sure I told everyone it was my Birthday. Saturday night ended at Spinelli's. Sure sign of a great night. Unfortunately, instead of getting a to go box like a normal person... I stuffed a slice of pizza in my purse. Hot MESS.
Sunday was my real birthday. My mommy gave me my gift when I woke up. IPhone 4S!! I was so excited!! I spent most of the day nursing a severe hangover and playing with Siri. Then my mom and I went out for my birthday dinner.
Getting back in the studio this morning was a struggle. I am still exhausted from the weekend. However, I did get some serious air time today. I got to play with Siri and even made my debut as a voice over announcer for DJX'S the Price is Right!! It was fun fun fun!!
I hope everyone had as an eventful weekend as I did!!
12/2/11*
It's Friday. Friday. Friday.
And we're partying, partying...
Last Friday, Charlie Murphy was in the studio and we really were partying! CHAARRRLLLiiiEEE MURRRPPPHHHYYY!!
When I arrived to the studio, Moe asked me if I had heard of Charlie Murphy. Seriously?! OF COURSE I HAD! Hello, Chappelle Show. She proceeded to tell me he was going to be in studio. My immediate response, "Are you freaking serious?!" I was freaking out. Beyond freaking out, actually. Since Moe, Kelly and Ben were busy on air, I was sent down to get Charlie and his entourage. Longest elevator ride of my life. I was so afraid I was going to trip, or say something stupid, or not be able to talk at all. Luckily, I kept my cool. HA! Who am I kidding?! I stopped in my tracks and was completely starstruck for a good five seconds. Awkward. But Charlie was hysterical and totally down to earth. So I snapped out pretty fast.
Needless to say, I HAD to Tweet about meeting Charlie Murphy. Naturally, I tagged Charlie along with The Improv and Ben and Kelly. I saw I had a ReTweet on my phone... Totally FREAKED OUT when I saw NOT ONLY had The Improve retweeted me... But CHARLiE MURPHY retweeted me!! Celebrity Status!!
How is it possible to be getting college credit for this internship?! It does not feel like work AT ALL. It's way too much fun!!
Anyways, tomorrow is Bunco for St. Joe's Children's Home and I am so excited! Nothing makes me feel better than helping out those in our community that cannot help themselves.
It's also begins my birthday weekend... 22... Or as I keep telling everyone, the one year anniversary of my 21st birthday. Unfortunately, my birthday only means one thing for the show... WHEEL OF DARES. AH!
Hope you all have a great weekend!!
Intern "I'll definitely be a..." HOT MESS "...this weekend!!"
11/11/11 *
They haven't scared me off yet!!
Hanging out in the studio is never a bore. I love it. Ben, Kelly and Mo are hysterical! I'm almost positive I'm going to have ripped abs from laughing before my internship is over. Bring on Spring Break! Recently we've been doing fun contests for fans to win Breaking Dawn Part 1 midnight premier tickets. Ben had the great idea of having Breaking Wind for Breaking Dawn. Yeah. Disgusting but SO funny! I couldn't believe so many women called in! People are crazy about Breaking Dawn and will pretty much do anything for tickets. Which, of course, makes for good radio!
Next week is going to be the best yet. We'll be broadcasting live from Kosair's Children's Hospital for the Kosair's Children's Hospital Radiothon on Thursday and Friday. I love helping the community and people in the community in anyway possible so I'm very excited to help the children at Kosair's Children's Hospital. Anymore details and I'll start crying... I'm a big baby.
The past few weeks have been awesome! I got backstage at All Time Low, I met a very talented new singer, Cady Grooves and I've met a few hilarious comedians. Not to mention, I get to go to the biggest movie premier this fall, Breaking Dawn Part 1! I'll be at Rave Motion Pictures Stonybrook with Sarah Jordan broadcasting live before the premier! Did I mention I am completely 110% obsessed with Twilight?! Def read the books like four times... each. No big deal. I feel bad for Sarah Jordan... I'm going to be "that girl" crying and being a huge twi-hard.
Waking up at 4am three times a week is totally worth the fun I get to have interning at 99.7 WDJX!
I'll blog again soon... Deats about Breaking Dawn and other exciting events!
* Intern Hot Mess *
10/28/11
My First Week as “Hot Mess”...
Despite the torture- or “hazing” as Ben & Kelly would say- I definitely enjoyed my first full week as “Intern Hot Mess.” I look forward to getting here everyday because I know I’ll have to do something crazy. Like test an Urban Legend and get the hell scared out of me. Fun fact: Bloody Mary looks a lot like Mo. And now thanks to that awesome little Bloody Mary test I freak out anytime I look in the mirror. Not a big deal…
At least they didn’t make me go to a Haunted House… But I did get to go with a chainsaw clown from Nightmare Forest to wake people up. That was hysterical. This morning, I went to Susan’s house to wake up her daughter Amber. Amber is a senior at Mercy Academy, which is where I went to high school so I was super excited to wake her up. I literally almost wore my Mercy uniform. Needless to say, Amber freaked out. It was hilarious! I can’t wait until Monday’s Chainsaw Wake Up! Has anyone seen Sorority Row??
Did I mention all of the crazy stories I got to hear from the listeners?? I look forward to Free Therapy Thursday and Family Secret Friday. Today’s Family Secret Friday was a paranormal story edition to celebrate Halloween. I love hearing paranormal stories. Some of the listener’s stories blew my mind! Calls from children that have passed, flying shoes, moving chairs, and cars driving themselves... I was in shock!
I could sit here in the studio and write all day long about how much fun I have hanging out in studio and interning but I have to go pick out a Halloween costume and then get ready for the ALL TIME LOW and THE READY SET concert tonight! YAY!
- Intern Hot Mess
8/30/11
Do It All Again
My time as a DJX intern is over. I reluctantly relinquish the title Lunchbox and resume the familiar albeit idiosyncratic Remy. I don’t even know where to begin in describing how this internship has genuinely changed my life, but for my legions of fans’ reading pleasure, I’ll try to sum it up.
Radio was not even remotely on my radar when I first sent the email asking to apply for a DJX internship last Fall. All I knew was that I loved 99.7 and working with Top 40 music would not only be fun but truly fascinating. Now, just a little less than a year after I sent my first email, I believe radio is a career in which I could absolutely see myself. There’s so much to explore in the field, and I think I’ve only gotten a small preview of what could lie ahead. I’ve learned so much under the guidance of Ben, Kelly and Sarah, and the trio of mentors has bestowed upon me an invaluable wealth of knowledge that I’m sure will be useful when I’m desperately fighting for a real job in radio.
I don’t regret anything about my time at DJX. Everyone at the station made me feel welcome and comfortable, and any inhibitions I had going into the job vanished at the touch of Ben’s tongue to my arm on one of my first days at the beginning of the summer. If Ben and Kelly told me tomorrow that they didn’t have any interns to cover the Fall, I would do this all over again in a heartbeat. There is so much still to learn, and there remain endless possibilities for personal growth and professional development. This internship has been such an incredibly rewarding experience, and I can’t thank the DJX crew enough for helping me find new aspects of myself on which I am exceptionally eager to expound.
Kelly hugged me, and Ben shook my hand. They congratulated me on a job well done and wished me luck in the possibly tumultuous years that lie ahead. But I know that this was only the beginning of a tremendously exciting period of my life. As I walked out of the station with tears in my eyes, I kept reminding myself that the best is yet to come. The best is yet to come.
-Remy
8/29/11
You Make Me Feel That
So on this the eve of my final day at DJX, I couldn’t sleep and realized the only therapy would be to pound out a quick penultimate blog post.
I’m nervous about tomorrow. It’s my last day at the station, and I’m so anxious to see if I’ll go home feeling proud and accomplished or hollow and disillusioned. Not to sound too cliché, but I’m sure it will be a bittersweet mix of both. My time at DJX has been one of the best experiences of my life, and there will undoubtedly be mixed emotions that come with its ending. Because really, DJX has been more than a way to pass my time; it’s been….okay hold on. This philosophizing is what my final blog is for, so I’ll hold back on the existential ruminations for now. Just know that what DJX has made me feel is difficult to put into words. Cobra Starship used “La la la la la” to describe their ineffable stirrings, but I feel that’s slightly too jocular for my purposes. I’ll surely have something more exciting to write after my final day, but to all those keeping a close watch on my every move, wish me luck as I depart from the studio tomorrow!
-Lunchbox
8/22/11
It’s My Party, Dance if I Want To...
As some of you loyal listeners may know, in addition to my Lunchbox days with Ben and Kelly in the morning, I also show up at DJX Tuesday and Thursday nights with the incomparable Sarah Jordan. Ordinarily, I’ll sit in the studio with Sarah from the start of the show through the New Music Download at 10:00pm. Last Thursday, however, Sarah and I ditched the cramped and familiar headquarters for the elegantly dignified engagement of the Kentucky State Fair. In the past, I have been known to sport cammo shorts and bandanas at the fair, but this time I had to be satisfied with just a homemade tie-dye DJX t-shirt. Set up at the Mike Linnig’s tent near the South Wing, Sarah and I were of course excited about the spectacle of the fair and being out in public instead of in the studio. But what we were really looking forward to was the food.
We started with the fine-dining staple of a down-home, dixie-fried, home-grown Krispy Kreme Buffalo Chicken Sandwich. I had tried the Doughnut Burger last year, but nothing could have prepared me for the divinity of the latest breakfast pastry entrée. Unfortunately, after just my first bite, Sarah seized the sandwich and devoured it all by herself in a matter of seconds. I may have been jealous, but I was overwhelmingly impressed.
By the next time Sarah was to talk on the air, I had already sought out the exquisite Deep Fried Derby Pie, and as she began her break, she sampled the hillbilly delicacy so that all of Louisville could hear her body desperately trying to ward off the probable cardiac arrest. Luckily, Sarah and I survived the adventure and made it back to the studio at the end of the night. But if you’re going to the fair, why would you even try to temper yourself? It’s the last major event of the summer (BESIDES DJX BASH 2011!!!), so eat the fried Kool-Aide and try a sandwich on a doughnut. Because really, if you feel that guilty about yourself, just hit up the Thrillway after your “meal.” I’m sure you’ll lose it all there.
-(The aptly named) Lunchbox
8/5/11
We Could Have Had It All...
In honor of Cabana Boy’s all too premature departure from DJX, this blog will revolve around him and the crazy—albeit few—adventures we had together this summer. I began my internship a couple weeks before he did and was a little nervous when I heard he’d be starting soon. When I asked who the other intern was, Kelly told me “He’s really really good looking. Like we’re thinking of calling him Ryan Reynolds. In all seriousness, he could be Ryan Reynolds’s brother.” Obviously, I was already intimidated by the women in the studio practically undressing themselves based on his immanent arrival. Clearly, this guy meant business.
It didn’t help when after a few times in prior to my meeting him, he had earned the nickname Cabana Boy. With the names Cabana Boy and Lunchbox, I pretty much sounded like the ugly little sidekick to the hot shot superstar. Fortunately though, Cabana Boy wasn’t the vacant pretty boy I feared he’d be; we actually clicked quite easily and soon were taking to the streets to spread the reign of DJX mayhem to the blocks surrounding the studio.
From the breast milk intern ice cream stand to the morning spent sitting on block of ice, we communally derided the antics of Ben and Kelly and were able to capture a select few of these outrageous moments as iPhone photos for us to treasure forever and ever. My only regret is that we didn’t go into the studio on the same day more often. Had we both been there on more days this summer, I’m sure The Ben Davis and Kelly K. Show Facebook page would have been overflowing with photos of two slickest interns they ever had gallivanting around town and wreaking all kinds of havoc. Thankfully, he told me he may be returning for a day or two later this summer, and we’ve already clandestinely met to discuss re-invading the studio over Christmas. Ben and Kelly really should watch out.
To end on a serious note, I couldn’t have asked for a better accomplice this summer, and I don’t know what I’ll be doing Fridays now that he’s gone. Regardless, one thing is for sure: you have not heard the last of Cabana Boy and Lunchbox.
-LB
7/31/11
Please Tell Me-e-e-e What There Is to Complain About
As I’m sure all of you-my loyal fans and readers-have surmised, I have been naming my blog posts this summer after lines from current Top 40 songs played on DJX (you don’t need to tell me how clever I am). Accordingly, despite my undying contempt for Pink’s “Perfect,” this post was initially to be titled “If You Ever Ever Think That You’re Nothing.” In it, I intended on beginning with a self-deprecating bemoaning about how I have failed to write a post for a couple of weeks. Then, I would recount the various ways in which I have messed up this week at the radio station, all the while writing it with a tone of embarrassed sarcasm. But then I thought: what good would it do to write such a depressing and surely not very funny entry? No good! So anyway, here’s what I’m writing instead.
Things are going great around DJX! That was a subtle transition, wasn’t it? Last week, Cabana Boy and I shirtlessly took to the street to peddle homemade breast milk ice cream. Much to our surprise, everyone who ate it gave glowing reviews, praising the eccentric dessert’s sweetness and unique taste. They all knew what they were eating, but that stopped no one from finishing their entire serving. At first, I thought that Cabana Boy and I were just so overpoweringly attractive with our shirts off that people became delusional, yet upon my own trying it, I discovered that it really was as good as people described, perhaps with an aftertaste a little too…biological. During this rather unconventional intern activity, I actually did further my radio experience. Using my phone’s voice memo feature, I interviewed people as they tried the ice cream, asking such probing and complex questions as “How does it taste?” and “Would you ever eat this again?” After this exhausting task, CB and I were greeted by a pair of fans that had ditched work to sample the product and pose for a HOTT pic with us. Breast milk and superfans in one day? The job has its perks.
Furthering the objectification of the male interns, the following week saw CB and I enter into a Hottest Butt contest by sitting on ice. Thanks to my penchant for running and doing endless sets of squats in the gym, I was able to triumph, and the listener rooting for me earned a pair of tickets to Holiday World. I just got some pretty soaked shorts.
Clearly, due to my lack of writing for so long, this blog is close to double the length of my usual entries, and for that reason, I’ll hurry things along. The point of these two anecdotes is to convey that the initial awkwardness I felt at things Ben and Kelly assigned me in the beginning of the summer has vanished, and I now embrace such tasks with full humor and tongue-in-cheek dedication. I’m feeling more at ease with everything; I still have a month of summer left (and a month of this internship!), and my birthday’s tomorrow! I feel like if I had a real paid job at DJX and it was always summer, that would really be the good life, and even though that of course isn’t possible, it feels pretty great right now. Yet an element of fear remains as I ponder what the crazy trio of the morning show may get me for my birthday...an electric dog collar? Pre-chewed gum? Katy Perry tickets? A "special" smoothie made out of dirt? A Taylor Swift proposal? Garbage? SOAP?!? The possibilities are endless. Hopefully though, they won’t terrorize me TOO much as I enter the third decade of my life tomorrow.
LovePeaceRecylce,
Lunchbox
7/15/11
Remember When You Come Up, The Show Goes On
The past two weeks have been on the eerie side in the DJX studio. During the past week, Ben Davis has been out, and the week before, Kelly was out. Because the two have such different personalities—both on-air and off—the show was dramatically different based on who was absent. When Kelly, the sweet and practical filter of the duo, took her “staycation,” intern activities dissolved into bits such as the bat episode I so eloquently recounted in my last post. Meanwhile, while Ben took his family to Disney World or the Grand Canyon or wherever Mr. Family Man was last week, Kelly indulged in her deep and undying love for male interns and thus maximized on the presence of Cabana Boy and myself. Despite the harmless games she had us play such as “Are You Smarter than an Intern,” “Battle of the Sexes,” and “Intern Catchphrase,” she found ways for her and Mo to ensure they not waste their…opportunities. So on Friday, they decided the punishment to the intern that lost Catchphrase to be skipping shirtless down the street singing Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” Lascivious though it might seem, the entire act was far more comical—at least to me—than arousing. Since the “raunchiest” part of the week was not even that raunchy and happened on the last day of the week with Kelly while the whole risqué bat debacle with Ben happened on a Monday, do you understand how different the show was each week?
Although I had significantly different experiences with just Ben and just Kelly, I’m still kind of amazed at how smoothly almost everything went when one member of the team wasn’t there. From a dirty week to a clean week, “The Ben Davis & Kelly K. Show” balanced itself out and sailed through with listeners not even raising an eyebrow (unless they were listening to the Friday the 15th Morning Megamix or traffic on Tuesday the 5th…). I feel as though if I was in their position and constantly had a brainstorming backboard of ideas that is a radio co-host, I would be lost with their being gone. Therefore, it looks as though the past two weeks’ success has been a true testament to the talent of Ben and Kelly. Even without the other there, the show goes on.
-ILB
PS I gotta give a shoutout to Mo who was the one constant in this ever-changing sea of morning show hosts. The only thing is that her mischievous eyes and wandering hands made me too uncomfortable to actually write about in this post.
7/6/11
I Wanna Go All the Way
Two weeks away clearly does little to stifle the creative minds behind The Ben Davis & Kelly K Show. Eager to resume my highly specialized intern duties and clear away the cobwebs from the esoteric bits of radio knowledge I’ve gained over the past month, I bounded into the studio this morning and wondered what sophisticated yet intellectually stimulating task I would be tackling today. “You’re gonna go hump the bat,” Ben said. I looked at him in befuddlement, feigning embarrassment while harboring giddy disgust. Despite my reservations, I took an early morning stroll through downtown Louisville, and upon arrival at the prestigious landmark, I found myself with a 120-foot piece of wood between my legs (it’s actually made out of carbon steel, but why not go with the crass pun?). At all times while onsite, I did my best to ensure my DJX Intern laminate was prominently displayed so that onlookers didn’t think I was some psycho with a baseball fetish. With some grunts and giggles over the phone, the listening population was soon given clues about my location, and soon enough, someone called in and correctly identified my satellite intern office. After a bathroom stop at 21C, which has the NICEST urinal you’ll ever see, I found my way back to the studio and accepted the applause and raving accolades I garnered from all the two people at the station. Job well done, Lunchbox.
As I’ve noticed my blog entries to do, I will now shift out of silly story into a more serious one…don’t you love predictability? Anyway, once the morning show ended, Ben suggested I try some voice-tracking, which is when I go into the studio, he pulls up a log of songs from last week, and I talk over the “breaks” (like “99/7 today’s hit music. She’ll be at the YUM Center September 10th, here’s Katy Perry with ‘Last Friday Night’”) to hear what I sound like as a sort of mock DJ. While intimidating at first, I soon got into a kind of rhythm and realized how everything is not as easy as it seems around a radio station. For instance, WHAT do you say to cover the 25-second intro of Onerepublic’s “Good Life”? Or HOW do you keep up forward momentum while speaking the break when “The Lazy Song” has a 0 second intro? Such are the daily trials and tribulations of a radio DJ. Now that I’ve played the game of voice-tracking twice though, I’m determined to do it as well as I can. Of course, these runs aren’t going to be broadcast or anything, so it’s not like they need to be perfect. But still, if it’s something I’m going to be doing over the next two-ish months, I’m exceedingly zealous to get it down. Why do something but not go all the way? If I didn’t try my hardest at industry-pertinent tasks like voice-tracking, then why would I even be doing this internship? Well, maybe it’s best not to go there. Regardless, it’s only early July, and I still have plenty of time to familiarize myself more deeply with the shapelessly enigmatic conglomerate that is radio.
Just so you know, I’m not this serious or meditative of a person in real life…
-Intern Lunchbox
PS Only 97 days until I propose to Taylor Swift
6/27/11
I Can’t Promise Tomorrow, But I PromiseTonight
So do you remember that wimpy post I wrote about shaking as I took control of the station for a few breaks? Well, all that nervousness has gradually fallen away, and I finally—finally? I say that like I’ve been working on it for a few years—learned to feel comfortable while in control of certain processes within the studio. Whether I’m firing songs, operating microphones, editing the recorded show, or taking charge of the new DJX RECYCLING PROGRAM (as founded by me), I no longer feel that former biting trepidation, ever ready to quell my impulses if I considered doing something other than following simple directions.
It’s at about this time that I feel as though my internship at the station is genuinely teaching me something rather than just serving as an enjoyable way to pass my sleepy mornings. I’m a little more than a third of the way done with my Lunchbox days at DJX, and I’m now realizing that I’ve subconsciously been filing certain facts and bits of technical information away into a blob in my mind that’s starting to take a cohesive structure resembling something like industry knowledge. Woo hoo for learning and justifying getting college credit!
Who knows if the remainder of my internship will be as satisfying as what I have thus far accomplished. Will I pick up new things as easily as the old ones? Will I continue to ask questions rather than sit idly by? Will I feel that same security behind the board as I did this morning? I have no idea. But what I do know is that I’m in a great place with this whole radio thing, and I can only hope that I continue to make steady yet true progress while tempering my freak flag showcase (unlike the Ford spokespuppet).
-Intern Lunchbox(By the way, my name, which was chosen out of thin air, now makes sense, as Kelly actually got me a real lunchbox that she has promised to fill every day with something new! I’m sure she’d love some suggestions…)
6/22/11
Happy 23rd birthday to me! Sadly the morning start to my birthday was anything but happy. I was already a little bummed out because I’m turning 23 and let’s face it, after 21 what do you have to look forward to. Most people receive gifts, or even cards from their friends and family. However, my loving co workers at djx gave me the best gift of all, and that was to spin the wheel of dares. This was a special birthday edition of wheel of dares, and all of my options were appalling. My choices consisted of birthday spanking (which I wasn’t opposed to), kiss Ben (and no this wasn’t going to be a peck, it would have been a five second smooch), and finally abc birthday gum. Kissing Ben was obviously last on my list, no matter how hard everyone wants me to turn gay. I spun the wheel and it landed on the birthday gum. I really didn’t think it was going to be that dreadful, but I was wrong. Ben, Kelly, and Mo all put in a piece of gum and chewed up various food items from bananas to chocolate. When the gum was firmly chewed up, they joined forces with the gum and made one of the nastiest pieces of gum I have ever seen in my life. At this point I was considering kissing Ben, but I figured I would throw up from either dare so I just went with the gum. I put the gum in my mouth and with three or four solid chews I instantly started feeling sick and I had to spit it out. Having all of their juices in my mouth was not something I thought I would ever have to experience. Words cannot explain the taste of the gum I was forced to chew, I really don’t get paid enough for this. On the bright side, they did give me a T shirt that says “Cabana Boy” on the front. I wore the shirt out for my big day, and I must say it was an instant hit with the ladies. The t shirt will never take the vicious flavor out of my mouth, and I will forever remember the chunky and slimy birthday present I was given for turning 23. Thanks everyone!
Cabana Boy
6/20/11
I Can't Help Thinking This Is How It Ought to Be
After last week's lull in activity-which, as I have asserted ad nauseum, is nothing terribly tragic- this week has already compensated for the rather inactive aspect of my most recent "sessions." First, on Saturday, I joined Ben at the Louisville Gay Pride Festival for an insane remote broadcast. Whereas most of these events are held in car dealership lots or in gas station convenient stores, this remote was on the Belvedere right at the entrance to the party that was Pride Fest. Due to our position, the DJX table played host to an exciting array of characters, ranging from the demurely modest to the flamboyantly outrageous. While I've done some theatre and have spent some time in Miami Beach, this was absolutely the grandest display of gay pride I have ever seen. Although I was uncomfortable at times, it was unquestionably inspiring to see so many people defy prejudices and stereotypes to let the public know who they are in all their polychromatic glory. Ben makes fun of me for having squirmed occasionally, but I am actually wholly grateful for having been thrown into the thick of such an important movement without any heavy previous...exposure to it's proponents.
Following my time at Pride on Saturday, on Monday, things took a turn for the absurd (but aren't things always absurd around here?). Armed with a banjo, a wig, and a sundress, I made my way to a Swifty gas station to impersonate Taylor Swift. Because my time spent embodying the singer's likeness was dependent on how long it took a listener to find me and thus win concert tickets, I knew I may be out for a while. So with my heart, soul, and vocal chords fully invested, I belted out a truly lovely rendition of "You Belong With Me" as Cabana Boy looked on in horrified amusement. I got through the song maybe two or three times before I was greeted by my first fan who, although she insulted my beautiful outfit, will be at Swifty's July 2nd show. On a side note, I will be there as well with a DVD copy of my performance in tow so that I may give it to Taylor in hopes that she accept my proposal for her hand on marriage.
So this week's been a little nuts. I'm about to leave for San Francisco, so it's a good thing so much was crammed into just two days. Truth be told, I'm hoping that this short week will serve as a sort of microcosm for my adult life; I'll have some emotionally moving experience one day and a ridiculously silly experience the next. Since I feel like I've grown as a person and entertained others in such a short amount of time, it seems like a job similar to my DJX internship simply belongs with me. But you know who else belongs with me? Taylor Swift.
-LB
6/14/11
My first day of the third week was something that I will hopefully never have to experience ever again in my life! We retrieved an email from someone stating that I would be a respectable substitute for an attractive woman. Kelly had the bright idea of seeing who would make a prettier woman, me or Ben.
My gut instinct was to tell them I will have no part in this little game; however I was suckered into it. Kelly and Mo assisted with my makeup and turned me into a full blown drag queen. It was a little weird when I drank my coffee and it left a lipstick imprint. Honestly, if I would have walked downtown I would have been stopped by the cops and placed under arrest for “horrific attempt at prostitution”. I kid you not; it was scary looking in the mirror and seeing what I actually looked like!
So what have I realized from this internship so far? This isn’t an internship, its hazing for the Greek organization of Phi Beta DJX. Second, I am convinced they are trying to transition my passion for women and turn it into passion for men.
Until the next time, I will be in the restroom trying to scrub off this eye shadow and eye liner. I cannot wait to see what is in store for Thursday!
6/09/11
I am really nervous about posting my first blog, especially since I know Lunchbox and Mo will critique this intensely. However, my first week of DJX has been the opposite of ordinary. I had a vague idea of what I was going to be doing, but I was utterly wrong!
My first day started off with me sitting in the corner by myself like “those guys” without dates at a high school dance. The first thing I had the pleasure to witness was a very tall and hairy guy who goes by the name of Lunch Box. He took his shirt off and Ben started caressing his armpit with his tongue due to the wheel of dares. This is how I knew that this was going to be a very remarkable summer. I was quickly out of my shell and felt comfortable in the group, especially since Mo keeps touching me when she thinks I am not looking. Some call it harassment, but I call it a fun internship!
My work experience has consisted of responding to emails from hot dads and posting them on the website for the viewers to vote on. I really wish I was around for the hot moms, because this is really making me question my sexuality when Ben and Kelly are always asking me which dad looks the best, and I always give them an answer. Other than the logistics of the hot dads, Ben has taught me how to edit out certain clips of the show to store them for later usage. I am also picking up on certain radio secrets which will not be named on here.
Today I was finally crowned with the nickname Intern Cabana Boy. This works for me because my other nicknames consisted of Thermos and Josephina. I can deal with the fact of running around the place with my shirt off tossing grapes in people’s mouths (unless it’s AJ).
I look forward for the rest of my internship because I can already tell this is going to be one of those experiences that I will never forget. I already find myself laughing so hard that I should have a six pack (don’t worry I don’t). Time will only tell how awkward/funny/crazy the rest of my time at DJX will consist of. So until the next time, Cabana Boy has to go and try and pounce a cougar (Kelly?), I’m out!
-Cabana Boy
Boy, I Think about It Every Night and Day…
Some might say that a guy whose Facebook statuses of the last month have been composed almost exclusively of amorous declarations of love for DJX may be obsessed with this internship. Well, I might be. But there is a significant distinction between unyielding fanboy creepiness and eye-opening opportunity submersion. I make no apologies that my weeks now revolve around this internship; this is an extraordinary opportunity, and I intend to take full advantage of it.
Last week, the magnitude of station proceedings once again brought to light the intensity of what goes on within the 12x8 studio. It’s easy to forget that there are potentially thousands of people listening at any given moment to DJX, but that fact came screaming back into my mind on Friday morning. Following the 10am signoff of the Ben Davis & Kelly K. show, Ben told me I would be running the radio for the next twenty minutes. My hands were shaking as he instructed me to pay close attention to song endings so that I would cue the next “element” without having the station go off the air for a few brief, albeit paralyzing, seconds. Anxiously, I stepped behind the board and shut off Adele, turned on Tinie Tempah, activated Ben’s microphone, and started a stream of commercials. Upon this feat, which of course to the DJs is just another everyday triviality, I knew that the people that were listening to the radio at that time were listening to my white-knuckled hands in action. I was in control of the 99.7 broadcast for twenty minutes. And I’ve only been here less than a month.
So hate on me if you will, but know that I am not the obsessed DJX creeper that has a shrine to Ben and Kelly in his bedroom. I am simply determined to make the absolute most of my summer here and ensure my complete understanding of everything to which I am exposed. Much like the boy inside whose love Fergie would like to jam, I’m addicted, and I just can’t get enough. I would be there every day if they let me, day and night, seeing radio in action, observing thought process, noticing demographic consideration, demarcating certain songs to play at certain times, everything. The more time I spend there, the more in love I fall.
So maybe this post does sound a little too over-zealous, and truth be told, I wrote this as much for me as I did for you. Sometimes I feel a little obsessed, but as I’ve espoused above, that may not be such a bad thing after all.
-Intern LB
6/1/11
Until yesterday, my internship duties were generally to observe the broadcast and mess around with the logistics of the Hot Dad contest. The Tuesday after Memorial Day, however, I realized my days of idle placidity and tedious email-filtering were over. I should’ve known things would get weird as I arrived on a Tuesday instead of my usual Monday, but nothing could have prepared me for what would so abruptly transpire one spun Wheel of Dares, doffed shirt, ejected tongue and correctly identified deodorant later. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I would NOT suggest looking up the video on the Facebook page, but if you just can’t help yourself, you should know that I don’t usually like being half-naked with a man so close to me. But for Ben Daivs, I did make an exception.
Things only got stranger as I found myself dressed in a spandex wrestling suit in public and later running a barefoot race with Ben in the parking lot the next day. Again, I feel verbally recounting these events to be too banal for the average DJX listener who is indubitably accustomed to an unpalatable host of bizarre occurrences.
Despite the apparently outré nature of this internship, I can’t deny that my enjoyment compounds just as fast as the level of eccentricity of my duties does. There’s something wholly liberating about standing in a parking lot in a mask, cape, and spandex that waiting tables or lawn mowing just can’t replicate. I don’t really have too much of a shell to break out of, but if I did, I would definitely feel like I’m exploding out of it. With confetti and streamers too. I can only hope that things get even weirder, and I have little doubt that they will. I’d say the station’s about to blow for ol’ Lunchbox as discussions begin to revolve around creamed corn, sumo wrestling, cupcakes, and alien costumes.
I just worry about how I’m going to get the glitter out of my beard.
-Intern Lunchbox
PS I’m taking suggestions for a new name, but they CANNOT include Intern Stoner because despite Ben’s insinuations, that is something I am not.